Interview With El Presidente

Amidst his hectic schedule The Potato had the chance to sit down with elusive campus leader Sruli Ira Tannenbaum for a no holds barred interview.

Reporter: So Sruli we really appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with us

Sruli: Yes it really is no problem but I have a hatzolah call scheduled in a half hour so you have to hurry.

Reporter: Before we begin I don’t suppose we could ask you to turn down your hatzolah radio, turn off your cell phone and put your beeper on vibrate?

Sruli: You must realize that these tools are an important part of my presidency. The radio keeps me in touch with six other nerds on campus. The cell phone is for Dougie's to get in touch at all times. And the beeper --- Its already on vibrate. Is it ever on vibrate!

Reporter: Whatever.

Reporter: Let’s Begin, How would you characterize your presidency thus far?

Sruli: Lots of free food and much more to come.

Reporter: Interesting. Do you feel this has managed to create a sense of unity on campus?

Sruli: I don’t know.but there’s been lots of free food and stuff!!!

Reporter: Yes I think we have already covered that. How do you see the remainder of the year shaping up?

Sruli: Well we have the NCAA finals Dougie's Party, Yom Ha'atzmaut barbecue, and plenty of free bagels during finals……and if I have any money left we will throw in some wings.

Reporter: I see a pattern here. Care to elaborate?

Sruli: Yes I have a lot of money.

Reporter: There has been much criticism about the lack of tangible improvement on campus, how do you respond?

Sruli: Lack of tangible improvement? We got a weight room. I used one of the weights once to hold open the door as we brought in pizza for the midnight madness. They're really very heavy.

Reporter: Let’s try some word association. I will throw out some words and you tell me the first thing that pops into your head. Don’t hurt yourself now.

Reporter: SCWS

Sruli: Second class

Reporter: Student Services:

Sruli: "Here to help us" Bull S*&T !!!

Reporter: Jeff Socol

Sruli: Mentor

Reporter: Dougie

Sruli: Father Figure

Reporter: Chevra Hatzolah

Sruli: Get out of class free card

Reporter: YCSC

Sruli: Gold Mine

Reporter: OK Sruli, we must talk about your remarkable ascension to the throne. How would you characterize your election?

Sruli: Well it got really dirty towards the end when I thought I would lose to a write-in candidate because I only put up one sign on Morg lobby. But after a tight battle I pulled it off and spent the rest of the night getting wasted on Glenfiddich and Fire-Poppers.

Reporter: Where do you see yourself in Ten Years?

Sruli: Fifth Floor first corner office - no no no just kidding I would like to have my own practice as a Nutritionist.

Reporter: Well what is student council up to these days?

Sruli: Well for information like that you would really have to get in touch with my staff…Oh wait Dror isn’t around so I guess it will be a surprise. Well I got to run but you are welcome to stay and play solitaire on my new Cray 2 $10,000 computer. It runs so much faster now. Hmmm… I am thinking about getting a copy machine in my room. What do you think?