In all fairness we had to print Adam Moses’ response:

To my Inutile Colleague,

It was to my great petulance that I read your contumely of my brilliant muckrake on the Agudah Convention. Despite your onslaught on my impeccable repute I assert that your defilement of my graphology is ingenuously enviousness of my premium deftness in the adroitness of journalism. You and your cohorts are flagitious and feeble extenuation’s for humans and would be superior if you donned goatees and confabulated with a subterranean inflection. It is humans such as yourself, that vitiate the veridical savant’s of this institution. It was only the other day, that the Dean approximated toward me, and pronounced, "If only there were more students such as you, Adam, our institution would be an incomparable axis of erudition and we would transit to a superior plane on the U.S. cognizance and biosphere promulgation (or for you ignoramus’s "The U.S. News and World Report)," I summarily resolved and wished the Dean a virtuous day. So it suggests that you should converge upon me to atone for y our peccadillo’s and hail me savior and maestro of all of Yeshiva University.

Guilelessly,

Adam