Rabbi Lamm Resigns and Returns

String of Resignations Follow

Rabbi Norman Lamm, Rosh HaYeshiva Unesiya of Yeshiva University, announced his resignation last Tuesday, effective immediately. He sighted "those damned stubborn Rabbeim" as the main reason for his leaving. He also complained about the constant drumming noises outside his office. His announcement sent shock waves throughout the University as people scrambled to find a successor.

The Roshei Yeshiva met in an emergency meeting to choose a new President. The choices were narrowed down to either Rav Aharon Kahn, of AEP fame, or R' Moshe Dovid Tendler, author of "In the Ways of the Shver." Upon hearing the choices, Rabbi Lamm immediately took back his resignation, saying, "Gimme that. You didn't see nothing, hear me?"

Unfortunately, this bold and sudden move happened too late to stop the string of resignations which followed Rabbi Lamm. Said Dean Efram Nulman, "First Rosen, then Schwartz, and now this? I'm outta here!" An exclusive interview with The Ordinary Potato revealed that Nullman's plans for the future included beach house in Hawaii and "hybernation." By the time Rabbi Lamm returned, Nulman had already cleaned out his office and was on the plane to a new life in Hawaii.

When asked by The Ordinary Potato how he felt about all the high level resignations, Sheldon Socol, Vice President of Business Affairs, responded, "Well, I guess it's just you and me. Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Also announcing their resignations this week were Michael Kranzler, Dean of Admissions; Pujos, the guy in the basement of Furst Hall; Ira "Sruli" L. Tannenbaum IV, fearless leader of the Yeshiva College Student Council, and Henry, MIS employee and techno-chassid. "I don't see this as harming the unprecedented improvements that we have been making in Yeshiva College," said YC Dean Norman Adler. "I hope to discuss the psychological and physiological implications of the resignations at a future Dean's Coffee 35 Minutes."

Although the YU administration has significantly thinned out, this is not expected to adversly affect YU. The Board of Trustees has formed search committees to attempt to replace all the people who recently stepped down. Anyone interested should drop off a resume and urine sample at the Dorm Office.