Spring break is almost here and the tension can be felt everywhere on campus. Yes my friends, springtime is for lovers and it is quite evident that Yeshiva University is no exception. The kind Commentator staff has asked me to review the Grammy’s so without further ado.

One word, Dull. Full of old performers patting themselves on the back the Grammy’s have become a disgrace. When John Fogerty wins in the best rock album category you know there are serious issues. No insult intended, however, Mr. Fogerty’s material is a far cry from his work in the seminal group Credence Clearwater Revival. Aside from this, the commercial breaks were too long and the performances by musical guests were too diverse to keep anyone’s attention for longer than 5 minutes. Additionally, choosing not to televise Best Alternative Album was the perfect way to alienate young music listeners. Way to go NARAS (National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences). The Grammy’s suck. Every year. No exceptions. Here are some of the winners. Note that I refrained from listing all 92 categories because I highly doubt that any of you really give a ?!#** about best album notes and otherwise.

Shawn Colvin gave the best speech of the night only because she managed to be upstaged by an extremely wasted Old Dirty Bastard from the Wu Tang Clan. Good job Old Dirty because Shawn Colvin is a slapper and deserves to be shot. The winner for this category wasn’t even nominated. The Verve’s Bitter Sweet Symphony was the most played record of the year internationally and critically it blew Ms. Colvin away. NARAS really botched this one up.

Robert Zimmerman didn’t win for Blood on the Tracks so here he was finally getting his due. I found it extremely unfortunate that it was at the expense of Radiohead. Critics worldwide had a hard time with this one. In the end, the Academy chose the noble way out.

AGGGHHH! Bad call.

There were so many others deserving. Belle and Sebastian most notably but no one could care less. This is the land of the free to buy crap records if you want to.

This was extremely embarrassing. Sentimentality should not be a factor in rewarding artists.

A white guy who wishes he was Stevie wonder. Not going to happen. Not now. Not later. Please go buy Stevie Wonder’s first record.

Not a chance in hell. Since when is easy listening pop? Remember when the Beatles were pop? This is not pop.

No matter how much I hate her as a person, she was really the only choice. Uhh. I just don’t know.

Radiohead.

Radiohead.

The Karma police should arrest Mr. Dylan Jr.

The new requirement to win a Grammy is a minimum age of 50. How rock and roll.

Alternative to what?

Yes. This was extremely well deserved. What a voice!

Again!

They should rename this the Best Choice of Samples award.

The next slew of awards was for country music. This is the North. I’m making the assumption that none of you could give **** (hoot) about country music.

Excellent. Mr. Rock is perhaps the funniest man in America today.

He deserves it. No one cranks out the hits like Babyface. He is the modern day Phil Spector

And so ended another year of inanity at the Grammy’s. It was boring from start to finish. If this is contemporary music then shoot me. I was nothing short of insulted.