So you see, its like this way. I wasn't really so frum in high school, I mean didn't do anything bad like a lot of my friends did. I pretended to learn, I really did and my grades weren't so hot, but I got into YU and Queens. But I didn't try marijuana like a lot of my friends did, and I was actually shomer. All my friends who weren't are good yeshiva bochurim now.

So when I came back from Israel, I only wore dark cotton Dockers, nice striped shirts and a new velvet yarmulka. I am strictly in Rav Schachter's shiur and I am majoring in Accounting. I mean I wanted to be a doctor, but well you know. I am really enjoying it here, and I am even going to be counselor this summer at camp HASC.

So what's the problem? I'm so lonely. All my friends are dating, know girls, getting engaged. I don't know anybody. (I went to talk about it with Dean Shmidman, and all he told me was "Blah blah blah Bochur, blah blah, good Shabbos." I was even more confused.) I thought I would meet my bashert at one of the Orientation events, but my friend who was in my yeshiva last year told me that the really frum people don't go. So I didn't, instead I watched an old movie in the Morg lounge with some annoying Israeli guy.

Then after the Succos break, I brought a new shirt during no-tax week, so I can wear it to the Chanukah concert. I was really hoping to score, but all the girls I met in the hallway while Shloime Dachs was singing "Acheinu" had boyfriends.

At the Seforim Sale, I planned to make my big move on this really cute chick I have this major crush on. I pretended to be a volunteer with one of those funky shirts for days, until she showed up - but she wasn't alone. And you should have seen the guy she was with! I was going to follow the rules in the yellow shidduch book, but forget it. Life really stinks in YU. How come all the bums have cute gals?