New YU Web Site Declared Huge Success

YUPR Says, "Some Things Never Change"

A mere four months after the announcement by YUPR that they had revamped the official YU web site, it has been declared a complete success by the Office of Public Relations. Although YUPR has never found anything to be less than a complete success, the office explained that they really mean it this time. Said June Glazer, editor of the esteemed publication YU Last Year, "A good time was had by all."

The main reason for redoing the web site was to shift the blame for the complete lack of content on the YU web site from YUPR to the individual departments and faculty members. Previously, many students and professors had criticized YU for omitting from the web site such things as students, faculty, several graduate schools, the admissions department, and the location of YU. But now, students and faculty members alike are praising the new system, specifically designed to keep useful content off the web site.

Dr. Joan Haahr, who teaches several courses based on texts from the Internet, commented, "Chaucer didn't have a web site. Why should I? I look forward to Yeshiva returning to the 10^th century." Dr. David Johnson added, "YU can now place themselves firmly outside of the time space continuum." Dean Michael Shmidman commented on the new website, saying, "Blah blah blah blah blah, good Shabbos."

Tom Deering, Chief Roadblock and all-around Mr. Sunshine, is very proud of his achievements as the moving farce behind the web site. He explained the great improvement over previous unsuccessful student-run events. "In the past, the web site was run by irresponsible students with poor hygiene and no respect for bureaucracy. Whereas I am able to maintain complete control over the web site due to my rugged good looks and complete lack of social skills. I have created a beautifully designed masterpiece using default web pages from Microsoft FrontPage, and I don't want anyone to mess it up."

Deering crafted a brilliant plan for preventing content from going online. "First, you must attend my class and 12-step program, entitled 'Why To Get A Web Site Somewhere Else.' Then, you must submit blood and urine samples to your Dean so that we can fire your arse if you make any spelling mistakes. Then everyone will realize that I am a bastard with a high-paying job and you are a puissant professor who doesn't even have a web site."

David Rosen, Fearless Leader of YUPR, is very proud of Deering's work. "If there was any content on the web site, people might find out what a crappy school I work for," he said. Arthur Myers, Director of MISinformation Services, commented, "What's the Internet?"