Confiscator Purim 5760 To be placed on Jannery Lara's personal list of close friends (and to be notified when new issues come out), please enter your email address below: Yeshiva Hires New Dean of Students

SHEER STUPIDITY Commentator Confiscates Administrators From Campus Locations by Karen Arenson A recent Confiscator probe has probed and learned that board members of The Commentator have been allegedly removing administrators from their respective campus locations.Click for full story Yeshiva Surges to Second on US News & World Report Survey by David Rosen For the fourth year in a row, Yeshiva University appeared in the first tier of US News and World Report's ranking of the top national universities in the United States. Continuing its frustratingly slow but steady rise, Yeshiva got a boost and climaxed just short of the top ranking. Commentator Acquires Observer Further distinguishing itself as the premier Yeshiva student fornication, The Commentator has recently acquired the official Shiduch-begging tabloid of the College for Stern Girls, The ObserveHer.Full Story NEW! MASECHET BAVA COMMIE NOW ONLINE! BEDTIME STORIES COMMENTATOR CANCELS PURIM ISSUE Lack of Subject Matter to Blame by April Simon In a sad but harsh decision late last week, the Editorial board of Yeshiva's feisty campus newspaper, the Commentator, decided that they had absolutely no choice but to cancel the world famous Purim edition. Citing lack of subject matter, Commie editor Gus Gussman explained that "we usually poke fun at the administration, however there doesn't seem to be any left." Click for full story Rabbi Tendler Quits, Dr. Peter Singer to Head Department of Ethics by Dr. Jack Kevorkian After coming to the realization that Judaism is all a hoax and that people only register for his shuir because they don't need to show up, Rabbi Dr. Moshe Tendler (now known as Cardinal John McKinny) quit his post as Head of the Biology and Ethics Department at Yeshiva University, instead choosing to hit the road as a Christian Missionary and door-to-door Bible Salesman. Full Story SHIDDUCH-O-MATIC HAVING TROUBLE FINIDING YOUR SOUL MATE? LOOKING FOR SOME ADVENTURE ON THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS? MAYBE YOUR JUST A BORED WEB SURFER. TRY OUR NEW SHIDDUCH-O-MATIC! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID! OTHER BRILLIANT NONSENSE AND ABSOLUTE MAYHEM MASSIVE LOADS OF HILARIOUS SHTICK, FUNNY STUFF, A LITTLE POTTY HUMOR, GARANTEED TO MAKE YOU "LOL" ...AND MUCH MORE! "I defy any of you to wake up at four in the morning, look in the mirror and not think of alligators." Express your opinion! Click here to send a letter to the editors. Some content is copyright © Yeshiva University Commentator. Please see our Purim disclaimer. WEBSITE FEEDBACK PLESE CONTACT: WEBMASTER@YUCOMMENTATOR.COM