The Confiscator
Purim 5760

A Lame Purim Poem

Being that its Purim and we want people to laugh,

I think its high time we took a look at our staff.

Well start at the bottom with our helpers in the café,

And work it to the top to Shirley and Rabbi Rapp.

When your finished morning classes, still tired from last night,

Stomach is growling, decide to go get a bite.

You anyhow have to use that card up, and the choices you get,

Dry fish or macaroni, from men and women in a hairnet.

If you survived the experience and have time to spare,

You run out to your dorm room, apartment or lair.

Whether it be in Muss Hall, Morgenstern or Rubin,

Or an occasional visit to the office of Robert Lubin.

You get to your building look whose waiting at the front,

A burns security guard, where's your card you little runt.

I got you now, ha-ha, is your name on the list?

Finally, something to do; walkie-talkie, you run-he gets pissed.

Having an in with some of the office staff is playing your cards right,

Whether its Betty at the registrar, or Phoebe working late at night.

Dean Schmidman is always around if you need to talk,

Dean Jesonowski and Beth are the "not now's," go take a walk.

So as you can see, our staff is not so sound,

Its time we told them no more fooling around.

But I guess they now know if they are reading this letter,

So i'll just go now and hope things get better.

IDENTITY CRISIS