Top Five Jews of the Common Error:

1. Jesus H. Christ - (4 BCE-39CE, 39 CE) His overwhelming public approval is reason enough to have Jesus, or God as he likes to be called, top our list, but once we reviewed his portfolio we knew there was no question. Despite inadvertently causing more Jews to die than live in New York City, Jesus's contribution to our society seconds none. By founding his own religion, Jesus created the biggest rivalry since Macs vs. Mount St. Mary. He revolutionized the world with his idea of turning our homeland into a capitalist/tourist adventure. But what 'Our Savior' is best known for, and what he will always be remembered for is his founding of a religion, which while full of people who hate everyone, claim to be peaceful.

2. Norman Lamm - (1795 - present) The current successor to the Torah U'madda philosophy's great success is his evidence that the Torah U'madda experiment has failed. Under his guidance as President of Yeshiva University, he has seen his graduates fall into worlds of either exclusive religion, or none at all. He has seen with great success the young yeshiva buchars trade in their black hats for Lexus' and cheap women. He led his talmidim by exhibiting such acts of greatness as leading the school's dorm talks about morality and having his administration members steal Commentators. Such two-faced activities exhibited once again in "Rabbi" Lamm's long career that it is impossible to live with Torah values in an American world.

3. Dean Joyce Jesionowski was nominated for the list but declined due to a lack of time on her part to discuss her accomplishments with us. Nevertheless we place her at Number Five due to a lack of time on our part to think of another qualified nominee.

4. Aaron Klein- Self-proclaimed God of all things Yeshiva University, Klein has succumbed to the philosophy "If it's better than you, make fun of it in the newspaper." And he has. During his career of attacking anything that doesn't fall his way, Klein has published articles on everything in YU from our esteemed President's Circle to the missing N.Y.T. machines. With the fury of a full-blown temper tantrum, Klein caused more controversy by reporting on the misuse of an eight million dollar donation than Lewisnky did when she sucked off our President. But all his Commie achievements pale when considering his greatest contribution to the Jewish American population: Going around campus, stealing his own newspapers and blaming it on the administration while leaking the story to the New York Times.

5. Alex Traiman - Traiman is best known and loved as being the self-proclaimed co-leader of the vicious gang on campus known as the Commentators. Under his guidance, this gang has attacked, razed, and raped everything we hold dear on campus. Whether it is his completely untrustworthy word or his commands of "kill" to his editors, he has been able to hide his devilish regard with his "pretty face" and "quick wit." Unbeknownst to the fair ladies in midtown, he often flashed his pearly white smile, without showing his razor-sharp teeth underneath. But his womanizing is only a part of the grand-mastery he brings to his caped compadres, his complete lack of regard to civilization is best expressed only in his desire to pee exclusively in sinks.

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