The Confiscator
Purim 5760

Rabbi Arrested For Urinating On Campus

by My Mother

An MYP Rosh Yeshiva, whose name is being withheld because his family used the Jewish mafia to threaten our lives, was caught urinating on Yeshiva property this week by security. The Rabbi was dancing under the influence at the Purim chagigah when he realized that he was about lose control of his bladder. He then ran outside where he peed unsparingly on the Dancinger Quadrangle just as a New York Police Officer was driving by.

As the officer was approaching him, the Rabbi scooped a pile of dirt from a nearby flower pot in order to purify his hands. The police man attempted to question him, but the Rabbi could not respond because he was in the middle of saying "Asher Yatzar." The officer arrested the religious figure, charging him with indecent exposure, improper public conduct and misuse of a black hat.

Yeshiva Public Relations Department refused to comment on the issue, but Dean Juseionowky said, "I don't have the time for this." "I am Mell and I think of alligators all the time," added 'Rabbi' Lamm.

In the end, the Rabbi was released from jail because it was learned that he had an unusual medical condition that causes him to urinate whenever he consumes large quantities of alcoholic beverages while dancing with sweaty men.

IDENTITY CRISIS