The Confiscator Purim 5760

501 W189th Street E-Mail: wehateyeshiva@hotmail.com Pelephone/Fax: (900) 976-COMMIE ($0.95 a minute) An amorally operated public relations nightmare not funded by the President’s circle and published on a bi-semestral basis or whenever the heck we feel like it. The views expressed in the columns herein are those forcefully imposed on us and most definitely reflect the opinions of only Aaron Klein and occasionally Alex Traiman. The opinions do not represent the students’ bodies, the faculty, or whatever is left of the administration especially Dr. Cwillich.© Copyright SOY2K, Volume 8,000,000, The Confiscator. One issue free, $1,850.00 for each additional issue. Confiscator Staff Arrogant Bastard Aaron "Confiscated" Klein My Hair is Out of Control Gus "Ernie" Gussman Presidentially Challeneged Muppet Pinky "The Brain" Shapiro Muppet Master General Ephraim "Kermit" Shapiro Speedy McFeely Jason "Scooter" Cyrulnik Pre-teen Muppet Baby Shmuli "Boy" Singer The Perpetually Missing Muppet Ari "Goto" Hellenberg Trerribly Beaten Useless Messianic Muppet Yosef "Mule" Levine Innuendo Pastor of the Muppets Yishai "Elmo" Fleisher Floppy Disked Cyber Muppet Virtual Dudi "Zoot" Feuer Washed Up Illiterate Zionistic Muppet Hadar "Big Bird" Weiss Sesame Street Flasher David "Gonzo" Wallach Mr. Hooper Eddie "Bruno" Rosenberg I Live In A Trash Can and Drabkin's My Roomie Moishe "Oofnik" Schmerler Associate Confiscators and Muppets At Large None of Your Business: Little Rubber Duckie Sweede E-mail Clerk: Jennery Lara-Spammer Culture: Yair Telly Oppenhimmler Oscar the Grouch: Leo "Sea Monster" Taubes Cookie Monster: April "Fozzie Bear" Simon Shlita Paranoid Schizophrenics: Miriam and Rachel All content is copyright © Yeshiva University Commentator. Please see our Purim disclaimer. IDENTITY CRISIS