Sanitary Sanity

It is a little known fact on our campus that in the southern hemisphere, water spins counterclockwise when a toilet is flushed. It is an even lesser known fact on our campus that in our own hemisphere, water spins clockwise when a toilet is flushed. By bringing up these facts, I do not wish to test your knowledge of trivia. My purpose is to bring to light a highly "potent" issue that affects all of us on this campus.

The issue I am referring to is the lack of toilet flushing that goes on in our bathrooms. No matter what building you are in, you do not have to look too far to find a toilet that still contains what a previous user has left behind. I am not quite sure what the problem is with certain people that they feel they have to show the world what happens to yesterday's lunch. Frankly, most people, even us ignorant Sy Syms students, already know what goes on and do not need the biology lessons.

For the past few months I have been trying to rationalize why people would feel someone else wants to see their "fruits of labor." I can remember back in summer camp when a friend of mine ran out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles, yelling for all to come see the size of what came out of him. Could it be that my peers are just proud and want to show off their handiwork?!? Then I remember that I was twelve when this happened in summer camp, and surely my mature, college-aged peers do not find it cool to show everyone how they clogged the drain.

My next thought was, maybe YU's ranking in U.S. News and World Report was going to the students' heads. Years back, Yeshiva did not have the best reputation among the other universities in the United States. Perhaps, in a united effort, the students on our campus have decided to show the world that YU is not going down the toilet by actually not sending anything down the toilet. But then I realized that civilized individuals such as ourselves would come up with a "cleaner" display of school spirit.

Not flushing toilets has actually had a few advantages for me. All the insects that used to hang around my room and pester me are attracted to the odor coming from the bathroom and now only bother me while I'm taking care of my needs and not while I'm sitting in my room. The un-flushing has also given me the chance to brush up on Spanish expletives that I hear the nice man who comes to clean our bathrooms utter on a daily basis.

This is a very serious issue. It looks very bad upon all of us when a visitor to our school must hold back their natural urges because they are too disgusted to use our bathrooms. The problem is not just confined to Rubin Hall where I live. Whether you are in a dorm, Furst Hall, Belfer Hall, or the library, you are bound to run into an un-emptied bathroom fixture of some sort. It is not only disgusting. It is very embarrassing and demeaning to your fellow students.

So, for those of you who are unaware of the procedure, whenever you are finished using one of Yeshiva's fine porcelain bowls, stand up, turn around, take hold of the lever attached to the upper left hand side of the rear of the toilet, and pull it down until all the "files you have downloaded" are erased from the public "hard-drives." By following these simple instructions, we will all be able to live in a clean and sanitary environment and no longer have to dread taking care of our needs.