Response to the "Open Letter to Members and Supporters of the Lightbulb Community"

Q. How many Yeshiva University administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Well, we're not exactly sure what you mean by change…

A.Shh... we don't want the lightbulb to know of our plans.

A. We will by setting up two special subcommittees to investigate and report on the matter.

A. "Changing" is just a rumor.

A. We are actually planning to keep the lightbulb, and have it continue to operate as a financially independent affiliate of the fixture.

A. We will basically keep the bulb, but allow fewer watts.

A. I'll tell you in two and a half months. Till then, keep using the old one.

A. We will be eliminating the lightbulb. Maybe.

A. We won't be changing the lightbulb. Instead we will be entering into collaborative agreements with other fixtures.

A. "While we appreciate the uncertainty this might cause you, no statement detailing the decision to change the lightbulb will be forthcoming. Have a nice day."

A. In an effort to achieve a lightbulb of excellence, some of the older sections of the lightbulb will have to be removed, but we intend to keep the lightbulb the same.

A. We will be bringing in an outside consultant to determine how we can best improve the lightbulb - the consultant is a proven expert on candles.

A. We will no longer be in the lightbulb business, but hope to be a center of lightbulbs for fixtures around the country.

A. By investing more money into the lightbulb as a whole, we plan to reduce the deficit caused by the lightbulb.

A. The lightbulb has improved so much recently, that we will only by changing the base and the filament.

A. Well, unfortunately, it only takes one to WANT to change it, and the bulb starts to burn out on its own.

A. Oh, no…we don't want to change the lightbulb - we are just considering all of our options.

A. Ask the Jewish Week.