A Modest Person in an Immodest World

In a society in which foul language and improper speech are to some extent a normality, Josh came to show that this is not the proper behavior for a Jew. To most outsiders Josh Bender was "the quiet kid" who always stood back and was never gregarious. However, this temperament made Josh very unique. He always knew what to say and when to say it. He was the type of person who spoke only when conversation demanded it. Whether it be to answer a question in class or in remarking to a friend, never have I ever heard a curse or negative remark from Josh.

I was not only amazed by the fact that Josh always watched his words but it was the way in which he related his feelings towards others. It was in such a modest fashion. I remember on one occasion Josh had received his midterm corporate finance grade. He ecstatically told me that he did really well. When I asked him what grade he scored, he responded, "It doesn't matter." When I heard this, I was taken aback. My friends and I always exchange our grades when we get them back but for some strange reason Josh did not want to tell me. I let the moment temporarily pass but then later that day I overheard other students saying how Josh surpassed most students on the test and scored second highest in the class.

Josh knew his finance cold and had a great understanding of the business world. He never wanted anyone to think that he was special or smarter than the next student but the reality is, he was. He truly understood what it means for a Ben Torah to be tzneyus in today's society.

Performing Mitzvos L'Shame Mitzvah

For Josh, no mitzvah was unattainable. Let it be giving somebody a lift to shul, helping a friend in need, or helping his mother prepare for Shabbos, he was always ready to lend a hand. Many times people help others for the wrong reasons, but for Josh it was always l'shame mitzvah. He was never concerned with the kavod or fringe benefits that often accompany a mitzvah.

When Josh was in high school, he had a bad experience and was forced to undergo surgery to correct scholiosis. After being bed-ridden for several months, he became infatuated with the idea of helping others to reciprocate for the communal help he had received when in need. He found his calling when he joined the Fair Lawn Volunteer Ambulance Corp. during his junior year of high school.

As an Emergency Medical Technician, Josh learned skills that he quickly mastered. He was a very diligent EMT and fit in well when working in team situations.

After several months on the ambulance corps most of his fellow corpsmen noticed that Josh was different. He was never concerned with the internal politics within the walls of many volunteer organizations. He was only concerned about one thing...the patient. I recall once having a conversation with him about the ambulance corps and I mentioned the possibility of quitting because I couldn't bear working with some of my fellow corpsmen. He was also upset with the current situation in the ambulance corps at that time but told me that if he quits, he is going to join the emergency squad in Paramus, a neighboring town. He didn't care where he worked. If it couldn't be in his native town of Fair Lawn, he would go next door just to help lend a hand.

That was Josh, he only wanted one thing....The best for everyone....