Emmesdika Yidden

It became evident to me that modern society's typical yeshiva student is exposed to many halakhic aspects that were not taught by Jewish educators in the 1950s & 1960s. Simple, clear-cut laws such as Ahavas Yisroel, Kisai HaRosh, Tznius, and Kol Isha were absent from the yeshiva curriculum in the post-war era. This revelation was prompted by the fact that there are so many young men and women who go through the yeshiva educational system, and after a year of intense learning in Eretz Yisroel many begin living more religious lives than those of their parents.

It is no longer uncommon to see a married couple (the yeshivish husband garbed in the routine black pants-white shirt costume while his wife dons a long skirt while wearing a wig on her head) frequenting kosher food establishments with their parents and in-laws who, for lack of a better term, are Modern Orthodox.

My friends, we all see the above scenario everyday. It may in fact illustrate our own lives. Do we ever ask ourselves: am I better than my parents because I am more religious than my family? Of course not! We love and respect our parents, and most of them will support us in our spiritual endeavors and religious growth.

Let's be honest - even if a situation arises where we may have feelings of animosity towards our parents, this should only be temporary. The profound attachment to our loved ones is so securely moored within our hearts, that in most circumstances, minor feelings of dislike are short lived.

So this is the relationship with our beloved parents and other close confidants, but what about the relationships with our fellow students, our teachers, and for that matter, the rest of society?

Social interaction is an unavoidable task in life. Although we may not look favorably on many of the people we encounter, nevertheless, we are still forced to deal with them in some shape or form. The complexity of human nature leads many to be judgmental regarding ideas, situations, and in our case, people. We have undoubtedly all heard our friends voicing their opinions on various matters such as the way someone dresses, the style of one's hair, or a perceived lack in someone's Avodas Hashem.

Although criticism is healthy if utilized for self-improvement, it is dangerous and can lead to intolerance. The ramifications of intolerance have historically been proven time and time again by increased social and religious inequity. On a smaller scale, the lack of respect for another often leads to rivalries that destroy many business partnerships, friendships and even marriages.

Contemporary social preachers are well aware of this problem and have had many failed attempts to limit intolerance with emotional speeches, utilizing glorified words such as equality, fairness, and toleration. Why have these attempts failed to bring peace and harmony to this social sphere?

From a Jewish perspective, the answer is quite clear. The American Heritage Dictionary defines tolerance as, "the capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others." Or in layman's terms, "leeway for variations from a standard." These mighty ideals are spectacular when practiced, but in reality, it is nothing more than a clown putting on a mask to hide his true colors. Tolerance, according to its own definition, is superficial. Leeway is not necessarily a conscious willingness. We are merely acting in a certain way or making certain verbalizations in reaction to a superficial idea that has permeated society as a whole, not because we have a deep desire to tolerate others. The Torah teaches us that Ahavas Yisroel (Brotherly Love) must be the internal source for all social interaction with all people. Since we are all equal as people, everyone should be treated with the same realized internal love, compassion, and respect. The Rambam teaches in Hilchos Teshuvah that "a person does not come to sin until the spirit of folly enters him [his heart]." To put it more simply, one does not come to act in a malicious fashion 24-7, rather, it is only when evil persuades him to do so. The general desire of a Jew is act with benevolence.

We are at an impressionable time in our lives when change becomes more difficult with age. Let the selfless relationship we have with our parents exemplify the same internalization that should be present while interacting with business associates, friends, family and the rest of society.