Awaken the Hearts of the Elderly

Aging is one of the greatest causes of anxiety and heartache within a family. Individuals usually try to postpone any and all thoughts concerning the inevitable, and often dreaded fate of getting older. Reaching the "golden years" can be very frightening because the elderly may begin to require the assistance of others just to complete commonplace tasks. In the 90's, with both parents in a household working, the care of an elderly relative has become a difficult and time-consuming feat. Therefore, sending an aging family member to a nursing home has become an increasingly popular routine in the United States. Unfortunately, many elderly people in nursing homes are often lonely because their families do not take time from their busy schedule to pay them a visit.

Younger people seldom realize that it was their parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts who worked so hard to make this world a little better for us to grow up in. Their unwavering devotion to their children frequently remains unrecognized. It is the duty of the younger generation to show our appreciation for their hard work and determination. Many of the occupants of nursing homes are unhappy and neglected. They are alone, depressed and without family members to comfort and visit them. This shouldn't be the case, especially when there are so many people with time available to help the elderly and show them that they too can feel happy and worthwhile.

During the past three summers I have volunteered in a local nursing home, and the time I spent there remains the most rewarding experience of my life. I remember a day last summer, while quietly walking through the corridor of a nursing home, I was suddenly struck by a high pitched and desperate sound that I soon determined was the weeping of an elderly woman. After entering her small room and asking her what was wrong, I informed her that I would gladly lead her on a walk to get some fresh air. She didn't respond and I bent down to see her face covered in tears. I said, "I really want to make you feel better, it hurts me to see you like this." She then slowly lifted her head and told me there was nothing I could do.

I swallowed heavily and began thinking of what to do. I inquired about her family and she told me that her siblings had all passed away and her children, nieces and nephews found themselves happy lives, and do not come to visit her. When she realized that I was willing to listen for as long as it would take, her face illuminated as she continued to tell me her life story. The frown on her face was transformed into a large, comforting smile, the tears that drowned her eyes completely disappeared and her heart seemed to pulsate with the awakened beat of happiness. She said that I was the first person in a long time to actually listen to her and she thanked me repeatedly and unnecessarily. It took much strength for me to refrain from crying. I was incredibly honored that I had made a small difference in the life of another individual.

There are thousands of elderly people out there who are depressed and lonely. They are in search of just one person to care for them, one person who will listen to their stories. By asking how they feel, putting your arm around them, or even just smiling, we can all make them feel good again. They don't deserve to be constantly upset. In addition, many residents complain that they are not treated fairly by the faculty of the nursing home. They may need to wait 20-30 minutes before being taken to the bathroom or given a drink. From the time I spent with the elderly, I have learned how to live life to its fullest and not take anything for granted. I view the world with a new-found appreciation. If the younger generation could just devote a few hours a month to visit the residents of a nursing home, it can make all the difference in the world. It will even make you feel better.

A new program is beginning at Yeshiva University called "Adopt-A-Grandparent". It entails having a "designated grandparent" to visit at the Hebrew Home and Hospital for about a half hour a week. This not only makes the elderly happy, but it gives them something to look forward to. In addition, they have so many fascinating stories to tell, and you could learn a tremendous amount from them. When you see the transformation of a depressed person to a happy glowing person, the feeling one maintains is indescribable.

I hope people will take this opportunity to help these gentle elderly people and will do a tremendous mitzvah by bringing happiness to these people's lives. For more information please contact Jake Weintraub at 740-5961.