We live in a sick world. We gasp when crazy things happen and question how such atrocities could ever occur in a modern civilized world. When the dust settles, we return to our daily routines until sirens wail, or the news ticker clicks away, and the gasping starts all over again. Where did we go wrong? Anybody have a clue what measures can still be taken to halt the downward progression of a decadent society which has become everyday normalcy?

Clarence Thomas, Pac Man and Friends

"Good evening, our top story tonight..."

All any human being has to do is take a cursory glance at the six o'clock news and not be affected by the quick tongued yapping of reporters who are so adept at reporting stories of sheer horror as naturally as they can say "we'll be back right after these messages."

Day after day, year after year, the past decade has brought the most perverted, most horribly upsetting "news" directly to American dinner tables. It's no wonder that names like William Kennedy Smith, Joey Buttafuoco, and Cathleen Willie all became everyday household terms, as people often discussed the latest issues deemed most important by the perverted media.

"In Other News..."

The rapid decline in the quality of what is important to people in this country is staggering albeit disheartening to say the least.

Imagine if dinnertime had never been bombarded with the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas hearings. Imagine if the front page of your local newspaper did not contain graphic descriptions of William Kennedy Smith's late night escapades at the beach. Now imagine again.

Think about life today if the network news people and newspaper giants had never considered those accounts worthy or appropriate headline news that people simply must be aware of.

Take a look at the world today as if these events and many others like it had never become the casual talk of the day, top story, or otherwise information so vital to the existence of all Americans.

Would the full version of the infamous "Starr Report" in all its pornographic glory and sickening detail ever have been broadcast on television, let alone at eleven o'clock in the morning for anybody of any age to see? I don't think so. (Disclaimer: Most of us were listening to the sound of the shofar the time.)

Its not entirely the fault of the media, heck no.

"Hey Macarena..."

The entertainment industry itself is smothered in nothing but sexual exploitation with no boundaries whatsoever. The advertising industry seems to be lowering it's standards of decency daily. Even children's games, videos and movies have lost all dignity and consideration for anything that should be of value to the normal flow of human life-just to make a quick buck.

And we wonder why increasingly high numbers of young high schoolers are battling pregnancy/abortion/AIDS dilemmas. And we wonder why little kids shoot their siblings heads off while playground children kill their playmates and seemingly normal teens become bloody murderers.

"I'll be there for yooo..."

Turn on a television, you'll see why. Open a comic book-the answer is in front of your nose. For more information, get some quarters and go to the video arcade.

"Uppercut! Uppercut! Left!"

There is a big difference between Frogger and Street Fighter M16 Bikini Mud Wrestling. There is a world of variance between the comedic genius of I Love Lucy and the sickening raunchiness of Al Bundy.

There has got to be something drastically wrong with humanity when the story line of "Dawson's Creek" mimics the insane story being reported on the evening news. Would the writers of "Saturday Night Live" twenty years ago ever have even entertained the possibility of airing the toilet bowl humor it does today? Who lowered the standard? What supreme being came down from the sky and suddenly declared it all good, without regard for consequence?

"Talk shows hosts who have run out of themes, next on Oprah."

The answer doesn't lie in condom distribution at high school orientation. The answer won't simply come by canceling the Jerry Springer show. What needs canceling is the material. Imagine if Springer had no possibility of future guests! Hard standard to work up to? Sure, considering how long it's taken for us to get down to the embarrassing level we wallow in today. (And anyone who claims that our community is immune, is living in bitter denial and better come sniff the maxwell house coffee bags real soon).

Gun control laws, background check legistlation and waiting periods are all great precautions, but it obviously ain't enough. Kids will always have a way get guns. Racism will always exist. Promiscuity and perversion of humanity will always be a sad fact of life.

We need to stop them from wanting it! Sure, all kids wish they could kill a teacher-but none would ever do it, unless something told them its okay. Contraception for high school children? There should not be a need for it!

"I did not have relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. Not one time. Not ever."

How ignorant can our nation's government be as to the very root of all that is evil and wrong in our insanely corrupt society? One would have thought that by now, somebody would have at least put an end to the fake whitehouse web site. For Bill & Hill, please visit www.whitehouse.gov

"You've got mail..."

The Internet, or World Wide Web (yes, techies, I know they are two disntinctly different terms) in all its magnificence, avails anything to anyone, at any time. It's no wonder there are so many laws that simply don't exist yet because the rapid progressive pace of technology cannot be kept up with by old geezer politicians panting far behind. If only the standard had not been lowered in the years prior to the time everyone went online. If only the levels of dignity morality and respect for humanity had not been flushed before the great space age that enables any seven year old kid to learn to build a bomb while surfing pornography and how to obtain the latest in handgun accessories.

Anything, Anyone, Anytime. What a scary thought. Yesterday, the Doomsday Cult. Today, the Trench Coat Mafia. Tomorrow?