On Stern Girls, Star Wars, and the Bedazzler

Is it so wrong that I'm more excited about the Austin Powers sequel than the Star Wars prequel? Let me explain myself to the hard-core "if I don't see Star Wars the first day it comes out" superfreaks. A big chunk of this movie is digital and, yes, you know what, I'm not that impressed. Personally, I feel The Matrix preview was more exciting, it could be all that black leather. In fact, men should wear more tight black clothing. Speaking of tight things, Stern girls need to understand that bra straps are not meant to be worn on the head unless you're Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science. I understand that they are comfortable, but do they need to strap on rhinestones as if we were living in 1984-86? Unfortunately rhinestones and puffy paint are now obsolete. I know it's hard, I too was a big fan of rhinestones and was jealous of all who had the Bedazzler. (For all you people who were asleep during the 80's, the Bedazzler would affix rhinestones to everything and anything including your mother.) My point is if your going to wear the bra strap head wrap, have the decency to hide the rhinstones because I'm still not over the whole Bedazzler thing and it brings up bad memories.

As I was saying before, Austin Powers looks so "I'm going to pee in my pants funny," I can't share my excitement with Star Wars. Does Star Wars have a mini me the doctor evil clone that's a quarter of his size? I don't think so! Any movie that appreciates ideas from the Island of Doctor Morou needs to be loved.

I'm ready for school to be over and summer to begin, but I must confess - I will miss Stern. I'll miss the days when I would throw turkey slices on the cafeteria walls with my friends. The times we would play Mission Impossible on the rooftops and watch the oh-so-precious dating seen on Thursday nights at Brookdale. I will miss Stern girls and all the craziness that has ensued over the years like the cat fight over watching 90210 or Dawsons Creak, and the time I got trampled by 30 Stern girls trying to get free Dougies when the elephants came.

Let's not forget all those Niddah classes. Can any other school claim to have so many classes on marriage and menstruation? I don't think so. As much as people including myself dog on Stern, I feel a lot of love for this school and want everyone to know how precious Stern is. I mean the comedic value alone is priceless. In terms of summer movies I will see Star Wars but my heart will belong to Austin Powers.