Volume 67, Issue 7

Table Tips: Dating at Restaurants
by Jessica Russak

I would like to take a break from our regular programming to truly administer some “table tips.” After all, that is the name of this column, and yet I continue to see restaurant blunders at every Kosher establishment in the tri-state area. I am also taking this break partially because I got snowed in the night I was supposed to eat at a new restaurant. But it’s just as well, since I have a new suede skirt to fit into. That point actually ties into the point of this article. Gentlemen, I know you’re taking your dates to all the right places now that you read my column, but are you behaving in the proper manner?

A girl needs to feel comfortable enough to order a real entrée, and not just a silly chicken salad. So if you can tell she’s staring at the menu and having trouble deciding on what to order, then one of four things could be happening. She could just be picky. Or she could be worried about the prices. She could also be concerned that you’ll think she’s a pig if she orders a juicy steak. The final possibility is that she’s worried about the nature of the food. Is it going to be too much, too messy, too spicy?

This is the point at which you say, “Feel free to order anything you want. I know I came to this restaurant to really enjoy the food.” You should definitely not take her somewhere expensive if you can’t afford it – unless, of course, you’re just going out for sushi, in which case popping into Haikara Grill and ignoring their entrée menu is perfectly excusable. You could even throw in a line like, “And definitely don’t order a salad with food like this on the menu.” If you’re at a pasta restaurant, recommend that she order the penne. You see, penne is one of the only kinds of pasta at these restaurants that is easy to eat and doesn’t slip off a fork or make a mess. She’ll be eternally grateful that you saved her from food embarrassment, and without even knowing you were doing it. Phew, she’ll be thinking, Thank goodness he recommended the penne, because I could have ended up looking like that poor girl over there with the spaghetti on her chin.

Then there’s pre-bread etiquette. Take the first plunge into the breadbasket and set a precedent. But do it with manners. Don’t dip your bread into that little ceramic bowl of pesto sauce unless there’s no silverware on the table. Same goes for soda. Order it first so she can see that it’s okay to drink something other than ice water. And along the lines of ordering dessert…check my column in advance to see if the desserts are worth it. Otherwise skip them altogether and ask for the check. Whisper to her after the waiter has left, “I read in Jessica Russak’s column that the desserts here aren’t very good.” And if you want the night to continue, take her to a dessert place like Café Lalo or Café Mozart, which I’ll cover in future articles.

A few more major tips: Always make reservations and confirm them a few hours before the date. Always open the door for her in the restaurant. Put your napkin on your lap and never be rude to the waiter, even if your order is messed up. Refuse any of her offers to give you money for dinner. And always, always leave a tip.¨

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